The pastor of a church I've yet to attend asked a friend of mine to find someone to write a letter to women who haven't become natural mothers as of today. They wanted to read it at the end of the sermon. My friend called me...
For several days I prayed over this, because this is a sensitive subject, and one I know a whole lot about. I did some studying, and a lot more praying, and this is the letter I felt like writing. If you can relate to this situation, I hope this encourages and strengthens your heart, like it did mine:
To the Woman Who Feels Left Out Today:
You know it's coming... every year. That day you secretly hope will hold new meaning for you the next time it rolls around. The day that 95% of the women your age will be honored and appreciated. The day that you will again think you're not as special or as important as someone being presented with a handmade card from their child. There is no little one running to you... No tiny voice calling your name. You don't feel a part, you don't feel special. No. You feel betrayed, you feel inadequate, you feel robbed... You feel broken.
Confusion races through every corner of your mind as you try to understand why God hasn't made a way for you to be a mother today.
Could I, for just a moment, get your full attention? Could you somehow find a way to let go of that hurt and frustration for just a couple minutes? I want to talk to you.
Now, mothers out there, please know that you are deserving today. Motherhood is a beautiful thing. It's a role to be desired. You are special... and across the nation people are honoring you today... with good reason. But, to you women that aren't carrying that title this morning... this day is still for you.
What I want you to grasp today is the fact that even though you're not a mom by natural occurrences, you still have that mothering nature wrapped up inside you... The ability to nurture... that special way of bringing peace to a bunch of chaos... You are a multi-tasking master... Unconditional love is nestled deep inside your heart... Encouragement, inspiration, and effectiveness is bottled up inside your being.
Did you know that God wrote down a beautiful promise just for you in Psalm 84:11? He did! It says, "No good thing will He withhold from them who walk uprightly."
No good thing... will He withhold... from you.
If you're not a mother, it's not a punishment. It's God's way of picking you out of crowd, pulling you away from the norm, and giving you time and space to focus your full attention on the amazing plan He has for your life at this moment. You DO have a purpose worth honoring today. A role so incredible, a "busy-mom-you" couldn't fulfill.
Learn to trust in and lean on His timing. Don't let the enemy convince you that this waiting period is because you're not good enough. Don't dare allow him room to persuade you that there is something wrong with you. You rebuke him this instant! Remind him who he is and WHOSE YOU ARE! Remember that God's ways are always higher and His plans are always good! And, yes, that also includes the one that He has penned specifically for you.
You are part of a league of extraordinary women whose experiences with infertility and loss served amazing purposes in furthering the Kingdom of God:
Sarah and Abraham in Genesis 16, Abimelech's wife in Genesis 20, Isaac and Rebekah in Genesis 25, Jacob's wife, Rachel, in Genesis 30, Samson's mother struggled with infertility for years in Judges 13, Hannah in 1 Samuel 1, the Shunamite woman in 2 Kings 4, the mother of John the Baptist was childless until she was old (Luke 1). Read over their stories and realize how exciting it is to be counted with them! God's working up something magnificent for you, dear... Of that I'm sure!
Straighten your crown today, Love. Wipe those tears and banish those negative thoughts. You're amazing and you are strong. I applaud YOU today for the way you smile through a pain that the majority of women will never understand. You inspire me. You amaze me.
If you saw the size of the blessing coming, you would understand the magnitude of the battle you've been fighting. Don't be defeated today... Get excited! Realize there is nothing and no one demanding your time and attention... which allows God to use you freely! Feel peace today! KNOW. YOUR. WORTH. today.
With a baby or without, you are valuable, you are whole, and you matter.
With the sincerest love and prayers,
A Woman Who Is Right There With You
And, with every single ounce of my being, I believe every word of that. God's got you. He is FOR you. He is proud of you...
"Know therefore that the Lord your God is... the faithful God..." Deuteronomy 7:9